If you could talk to one person right now, who would it be?
This kind of question tends to stump me a bit because over the years I have learned to be a bit wearier about people’s messages and stories. There are a few authors some people raved about and I just cannot get myself to read that book or listen to it on audio. I have this tendency to go the other way when I notice a trend or people jumping on bandwagons – and then years later something pops up and it’s like my intuition knew something was off.
And if I could talk to one person right now, I would talk to one of my former social workers. She was an absolute spitfire, strict but caring and compassionate. I didn’t like her much at the time (I was 14/15). I was rebelling against everything, specific rules. I wanted to do whatever I wanted, drink and get high, hang out with my people and just screw the world. I was an angry teenager and the world could just piss off.
I started to run away, first just the weekends – and then one time for 3 weeks with a much older guy who lived with his much older dad in a studio apartment. One day, the dude went out for something and his dad tried to hit on me and elicit sexual favors but I refused. At 2 o’clock in the morning, the police arrived to pick me up and return me to the foster home.
And this social worker sat down with me the next day to give me talking too. And something that sticks with me to this day every time I doubt myself, her words that changed the trajectory of my life. I don’t think she knows the impact her words had on me because no one has given a care for 15 years in such a way.
Petra, you’re not stupid. You are smart and can do amazing things with your life. Don’t throw it all away just because you’re here in this situation now. Figure out what you want and go after it
I mean when you’re world is pretty shit and no one has ever really loved you or cared for you, those words mean something. I didn’t acknowledge them at the time because I was still in angry teenage mode and everyone was against me and I was against the world.
I would like to just have a chat and let her know that her words mattered.