Todays Prompt:

Describe the times when your mind went to negative thoughts today.

I don’t know about you but until I became aware of my negative thoughts, I didn’t realize they existed. It’s like walking around this planet without really being aware of how what’s inside of our heads has an impact on our lives.

The way we think and think has a direct correlation with how we interact with the world we live in. It’s like when I was in my 20s in order to fit in, I had to complain about all the things that were going wrong in my life. When my son was then diagnosed with a rare genetic disorder in my early 30s, I realized how little complaining actually contributes to life. I’ve become a firm believer that if you don’t like it change it and if you can’t change it all right away, then do a little at a time.

I stopped complaining and focus on the things I wanted to change which also brought on this keen awareness of the thoughts I had in my head. I’m an obnoxious optimist – in other words, I believe there is always a way and you just have to keep trying things until you want it.

But I am also someone that had to prove a lot of things throughout this life such as not becoming an alcoholic like my foster parents predicted I would be, or the ability to trust my own judgment when one of my exes told me that my judgment is crap. More than anything though I had to prove to myself that I was smart enough, good enough, and deserving enough to work towards the things I wanted.

And there are moments when I still don’t feel smart enough even though I have a bachelor’s + master’s degree and studied all things online business for the last 8 years. There are moments I don’t feel good enough because of my past growing up in foster care, destructive behaviors with alcohol, and not raising all of my children – which of course leads right to not being deserving enough.

I know that negative thoughts increase when I am feeling frustrated with something and that means taking my journal and writing out my frustration. I start with “I am frustrated because…” and then just free write it. Here of late, I’ve been frustrated with the state of our home and the lack of motivation by others to do something about it – which often means I end up doing something about it. This reinforces the thought I can’t depend on anyone and that it’s all up to me to make changes in this life.

I always have to remind myself that not everyone is as driven and motivated as I am. I can’t make people be motivated which often feels like reading from the same book but never getting on the same page.

And all of that somehow always impacts the unhelpful intrusive thoughts.

Get my journal prompts

So you can start your writing practice and stop pondering what to write about.

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